A Shift In Perspective

I know I reference my coaching clients a lot in these blog posts, but for those of you who haven’t experienced it, you might be feeling a little skeptical. And I get it.  When I first explored coaching it felt very incestuous – coaches always coaching coaches and coach wanna-bees. I wondered, can coaching really make a difference in the real world, or is it just a lot of feel-good hooey? After 15 years in the profession, however, I’ve seen enough results to know it is real. Take a recent client of mine.

For her, the choices she was making got in the way of how she was showing up, and the impact was profound. Throughout her career, she’d kind of lost touch with the person she always saw herself to be. Then, she got wrapped up and spun around with other people’s stories of who she was; she got a little high on her horse because of her position and title. Then, one day, someone triggered her in a really bad way, and created the issue that brought me in. Our work wasn’t exactly required by her job, but when it started, it was seen by many as a last ditch effort. Some weren’t sure they even wanted to keep her on. But they committed to six months, and so did she.

Together in those six months, we worked on getting her back to her core self, to who she really was, and how she lost her way and why she was triggered in the first place. Now, this is exactly the kind of stuff that can sound sort of new-agey, woo-woo, and leaves people feeling skeptical — but it’s exactly this kind of stuff that makes a powerful difference. Our work together became about presence. About being present with those around her and giving herself permission to be who she is — rather than who she thinks she is supposed to be. It was powerful work.

Now, after our work, guess what? She’s being considered for much higher position. Six months ago her employers were questioning whether they even wanted to keep her on! And now she’s up for a promotion. 

That is a phenomenal journey! Can you ask for clearer results? 

The shift that took place was a shift from “I need to figure out how to deal with these people,” to “I need to figure out how to deal with me.” It was no longer about “them,” what they were thinking, or her interpretations of their behavior. For her, like so many, she saw the problem as the environment around her. Once we were able to get her focused on her — the choices she was making, the way she was showing up, her presence, her language, her tone, her thoughts, her feelings, her actions — it made all the difference. What was challenging, however, was how those external thoughts made perfect sense, no matter how misguided. We humans have a tendency to see things the way we see them, thinking that’s the way it has to be seen. But it’s not. It’s A way, not THE way, and sometimes we just need help seeing things in a different way so we can think, feel, and act towards it differently.

Can coaching make that kind of difference for you? If you’re still not sure — how about we try a session for free? Email me today, and we’ll set it up.