In leadership, it’s tempting to frame everything through logic and facts, especially when tensions rise or conflict surfaces. We want to fix problems, move quickly, and get results. But here’s the truth: emotions aren’t the enemy of progress — avoidance is.
I’ve worked with many teams where the unspoken rule is, “We’re professionals. We don’t need to get emotional.” On the surface, it sounds reasonable. But what happens when people feel dismissed, overlooked, or frustrated? Those emotions don’t just vanish — they become part of the conversation whether we acknowledge them or not. When we pretend emotions don’t exist, we drive them underground. And that’s where problems fester. Passive-aggressiveness, resentment, disengagement, and low morale quietly creep in.
True leadership requires emotional fluency — the ability to notice when people seem off or disengaged, to make space for feelings, even when they’re uncomfortable, and to listen without rushing to fix everything immediately.
Imagine a meeting where tension is thick. Instead of plowing ahead or ignoring the discomfort, what if a leader simply said, “This feels like a hard moment. What’s going on?” Or perhaps you know exactly what’s going on, so you might say, “Hey, I get it, this is a challenging issue. How are you all feeling?”
That simple acknowledgment can change the entire room. People breathe easier knowing you understand. And when people feel seen, tension softens. Suddenly, the team is ready to find solutions — not just band-aids. And they’re not spending half their energy managing, hiding, or questioning their emotions while simultaneously trying to fully engage.
Avoidance might feel like the easier path in the short term, but it delays real progress. Emotions are valuable information. They often hold the key to what’s truly blocking a team’s forward movement.
If you notice the same issues repeatedly popping up — or worse, disappearing from the conversation — it’s time to name it. Say something like, “I’ve noticed that when this topic comes up, we tend to get quiet. Can we talk about what’s really going on?” That’s the kind of leadership that takes courage but creates space for growth.
The goal isn’t to “fix” feelings or make people comfortable all the time. It’s to create space where emotions can be expressed and understood. That’s where clarity lives. That’s how you move forward — together.
Photo by Parabol | The Agile Meeting Tool on Unsplash
