We’ve all been in the room when someone says, “We have a trust problem.” And sometimes, that’s true. But sometimes, it’s not.
One team I worked with kept circling back to trust as their core issue. But the real problem wasn’t actually trust. It was that they weren’t respecting each other’s feelings. When someone bristled or looked confused in a meeting, no one paused to check in. They just kept steamrolling ahead. Oof.
That lack of emotional awareness — not trust — was creating the disconnect.
When we finally stopped and named what was happening, it changed everything. Team members started to notice nonverbal cues. They paused. They took the time to read the room. They checked in with one another. They honored the moment. And suddenly, those “trust issues” began to dissolve.
Trust is often the diagnosis we jump to. But real leadership asks: What’s underneath it? What’s really going on? How are people really doing? (Because leadership isn’t a solo act — it’s relational, emotional, and rooted in understanding.)
Are people feeling dismissed, rushed, or overlooked? Are emotions getting bottled up or brushed aside? That matters. Because emotional safety isn’t built on assumptions — it’s built on attention.
Trust grows when people feel seen. When their reactions are acknowledged. When the room gets quiet for a minute so someone can say, with absolute sincerity, “Hey, are you okay?”
So before you fix the “trust issue,” pause. Check in. Get curious about what you’re seeing. Don’t assume it’s trust. It might just be feelings that need to be acknowledged.
Sometimes, emotional validation is all it takes to get the wheels turning again — when people feel they’re truly heard.
