“I don’t know.”
Three little words we hear all the time — from our teams, from our kids, from ourselves. And too often, we treat it like a period. An endpoint. A dismissal.
“Why did he do that?” “…I don’t know.”
“I don’t know, it just seems…”
“I don’t know why anyone would…”
These aren’t questions of curiosity, they’re just statements of exasperation or resignation often presented in the form of a question.
But what if we reframed those three words as an invitation?
Next time someone says, “I don’t know,” let it perk up your ears and your curiosity. Listen closely. What if that phrase became a flag — one that signals a moment to dig deeper? Ask: Should I know? How could I find out? What conversation do we need to have?
Too often, we let “I don’t know” turn into speculation, blame, or disengagement. Instead of exploring, we retreat. But great leaders see it as a signal. Not to judge or fault-find, but to cultivate curiosity.
Create a culture where “I don’t know” isn’t shameful — it’s a starting point. One where the follow-up is always, “Let’s figure it out.”
Let that little phrase become your trigger for better questions. Because progress doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from asking the right questions.
It also builds psychological safety. When people feel safe saying “I don’t know,” it creates space for authentic collaboration. It’s where creativity lives. It’s how innovation starts. Because if we pretend to know everything, we’ll never grow. But if we admit what we don’t know, we give ourselves — and our teams — the chance to discover something new.
And here’s the bonus: when leaders model this vulnerability, they give others permission to do the same. That kind of openness is contagious. It fosters trust, strengthens relationships, and invites diverse perspectives to the table.
So next time you hear “I don’t know,” smile. You may have found a hidden key or your next step forward. And if you’re the one saying it? Even better. You’ve just opened the door to discovery.
Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash
