When someone on your team pushes back, challenges an idea, or doesn’t engage the way you expect, it’s easy to label that as resistance. But what if it isn’t resistance at all?
What if what looks like laziness… is actually exhaustion?
What if what seems like defiance… is just a lack of clarity?
In their book Switch, Chip and Dan Heath put it plainly: “What looks like laziness is often exhaustion.” And I’d add that what looks like resistance is often a cry for help, a signal that someone doesn’t fully understand what’s being asked of them — or doesn’t feel confident enough to act on it.
I’ve worked with leaders who grow frustrated by teams that “won’t get on board.” But when we take a closer look, what we find is fear. Fatigue. Uncertainty. It’s not that people are unwilling. It’s that they’re unsure. Or overwhelmed. Or disconnected from the “why.”
And here’s the kicker: we judge these reactions as people problems — and they are, in that we experience them through and with and by people. But they’re also situational problems. It’s likely not about attitude. It’s more about the environment. Culture. Communication.
So when you encounter resistance, try reframing it. Ask:
- What might this person be missing?
- What don’t they understand?
- What would bring clarity or support?
Because if someone is resisting, they may not be refusing. They may be protecting themselves from risk, embarrassment, or failure. And that kind of “resistance” is an opportunity, not a barrier.
The best leaders don’t bulldoze resistance — they get curious about it. They understand that every moment of pushback is a potential moment of breakthrough.
So instead of pushing harder, pause. Check for exhaustion. Clarify the ask. Invite the questions. You might be surprised how much power is hidden in that “no” and how quickly it can turn into a “yes” — and improved relationships — when people feel clear, safe, and supported.
Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash
