We talked about the posture of learning last week, and some of the conversations I have been having around that theme is about asking a better question, and how one does that in real time. Let me go back to my favorite assessment tool, the CVI, for some insights. Remember, I don’t see assessments as magical, I see them as tools to be used when appropriate and set aside when not.
The CVI is a powerful tool that has become invaluable for my clients in this area of asking a better question. Most assessments are used to put people in a box, the CVI teaches us how to better show up as a powerful, positive influence regardless of that box.
Think about it this way: if we’re experiencing someone who’s intimidating, and is using a lot of “I” language: “I know this,” “I think that,” “trust me,” they are likely operating from what the CVI would call their Builder value. Because of their intimidating nature, we can also see their Builder value is being dishonored and they are operating within a conflict strategy. If you stop there, you have a valuable piece of information about them. In fact, you have an answer: “that’s a Builder in their conflict strategy.” But that’s not what the CVI is about. In fact, the CVI isn’t about them at all, it’s about YOU. So it pushes us to ask a better question: “What can I do to have the greatest positive impact on the situation before me?” Now that’s a powerful question. So why stop there? Ask: how can I engage their Builder in positive way? They’re feeling out of control, perhaps, or they don’t confidently know what to do; how can I help provide them control, or build their confidence? How can I get them out of the negative conflict strategy, and into their best self?
That’s offering active solutions for what I can do, not just passive labels and boxes that leave me clearly judging them but changing nothing. It’s been an ah-ha moment for a lot of folks!
The CVI wants us to ask, what value is most being called for… from me?
How can we call it forth in the best way?
That’s all about asking a better question — and that builds true leadership.