One thing I keep running into in conversations with leaders and teams is the massive impact of unspoken expectations. No matter how many times I’ve touched on this subject, it’s worth reiterating because it’s one of the biggest factors behind dysfunctional relationships I see in the workplace.
Here’s the thing: so many times, the root cause of a problem or a performance issue boils down to failure to clearly define expectations. People assume everyone “gets it” — the timelines, the goals, the process — but they don’t. Everyone ends up playing different games, unaware of the others’ rules.
It’s like playing with a kid who’s making it up as they go along. What earned you 10 points a minute ago suddenly costs you 50 points because the rules changed, and you’re left trying to figure out what’s going on in their head. Or imagine expecting someone to check in every week, but you never actually said that aloud. You just assumed they knew.
We take for granted how much information our brains process each minute — billions of pieces from our environment. But only a fraction become conscious thoughts. Even fewer of those do we communicate clearly and productively. That’s where problems happen.
Leaders often think their tone or body language is crystal clear, so they don’t have to say anything explicit. But the reality? The team doesn’t always pick up on those cues the way the leader thinks they do. And frustration builds on all sides.
Clarity doesn’t have to be negative or micromanaging. It’s simply saying, “Hey Bob, here’s what I’m expecting on this project. It seems logical we touch base every Friday so I can stay updated. It’s not micromanagement; I just want to help if you need it.” Saying that shows confidence, not lack of trust — “I believe in you, and I just want to make sure you’re not doing this alone.”
Without clearly communicating expectations, everyone is left guessing — and that’s a recipe for confusion, frustration, and missed goals.
When expectations aren’t clearly spelled out, teams often feel stuck. They wonder why they’re not meeting goals when they are clearly doing what they understood. It’s why communication breaks down, or why collaboration falters. But it’s not that they’re unwilling or incapable — they’re simply working without a shared map.
Remember: Communication isn’t just what you say, it’s also what they hear. So, the next time you sense tension or confusion in your team, ask yourself: Have I clearly communicated my expectations? Have I asked — and verified — whether those expectations are understood? Sometimes, the fix is that simple. Clarity saves time, energy, and relationships.
Photo by Courtnie Tosana on Unsplash
