In a perfect world, we’d all get to hand-pick the people we work with. We’d build teams of people who think like us, work like us, communicate like us, and share our same work ethic and values. But in reality? Most of us find ourselves working alongside people we didn’t choose — and sometimes, we wouldn’t have chosen them if given the chance.
So what do you do with the people you didn’t pick?
You get curious.
Great leadership doesn’t depend on having the “right” team — it thrives in the real world. And the real world is filled with differences: different communication styles, different personalities, different priorities. It can feel frustrating. But it can also be an invitation.
Instead of trying to fix, avoid, or outmaneuver the challenge, lean in. Ask: What don’t I understand yet? What can I learn from this person? What assumptions might I be making that are getting in the way?
If someone’s approach rubs you the wrong way, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wrong — it might mean they’re solving problems from a different angle. That’s not always easy to navigate, but it’s also where creativity and resilience are born.
Resentment will keep you stuck. But curiosity creates connection. It helps you see the full person, not just the surface-level behavior. And it invites you to stop reacting and start responding with intention.
You don’t have to agree with everything your teammate says or does. But you do have to treat them with respect if you want the team to move forward. That doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior — it means leading with the belief that people are doing the best they can with what they have. And when you approach them with openness, you make it more likely they’ll rise to meet you.
You might not have picked them — but you can still choose to see their value.
That’s leadership. Not control, but choice. Not perfection, but presence. And in the end, it’s not about whether your team is made up of people you picked — it’s about how well you pick up what they’re trying to bring.
Photo by Vlad Hilitanu on Unsplash
