I recently received an urgent call from one of the Sheriff’s offices I work with. They asked me to facilitate a call between two people in their organization in an effort to address an issue before it became a full-blown problem.
See, in law enforcement, “SRIMs” are always difficult. They involve one party making a documented accusation against another. There’s a formal investigation, and the details of the accusation and investigation end up on the offending party’s permanent record.
It never ends well. Invariably, the process diminishes a relationship. (Sometimes justifiably so.)
My objective in helping to mediate conflicts like this is to get the two parties to engage in a conversation. We want to figure things out before the conflict becomes a full-blown investigation. It’s my job to gauge whether they’ll engage and “play well together” — and help everyone move closer to a willingness to do so if they aren’t there already.
In the case of the Sheriff’s Office situation, I have to give them credit for being willing to go in this direction. Six months ago, they probably would have handled it completely differently, moving straight to an investigation. Because that’s the only tool they thought they had. If all you have is a hammer…
Right now, the stuff on the table, as it’s been presented to me, is not really egregious. There’s no sexual or physical misconduct or abuse involved. But there is a lack of communication, and there’s some dysfunction that needs correcting.
The woman who brought this issue to leadership’s attention feels like something needs to be done (and she’s right). “I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble,” she told me. “But this can’t go on. So where’s the balance? I’m a pretty vocal person. I’m not shy about correcting others. But for some reason, with this person, I cannot do it. I need help.”
Which is why I’m here. She’s saying, “I want that (solution), I don’t want this (investigation),” and it’s my job to help her and her colleagues bridge the gap.
The mere opportunity to make this sort of situation better is pretty exciting to me. I’m feeling very honored that they’ve placed their confidence in me to address this issue. We’ve done it now, dozens of times, and while it doesn’t always work, it mostly works, and that has saved a bunch of relationships that would have otherwise been severed. And that makes it worth the try.
If this sounds like a situation in your organization — or one that might come up at some point — I am here to help. Contact me today to learn more.
Photo by Peggy Sue Zinn on Unsplash
