Generational Evolution: The Tension Between Recognition and Growth
In my last post, I shared how learning to ask questions that are rooted in curiosity — and encourage dialogue instead of defensiveness — can change the entire dynamic of our relationships. These sorts of questions also foster empathy and understanding. Defensiveness...
The Damage of “Why” Questions and the Cycle of Defensiveness
When was the last time you asked someone, “Why did you do that?” Did you get the response you wanted? Probably not. That’s because the simple act of asking “why” triggers a primal reaction: defensiveness. Whether we mean to or not, questions that begin with “why”...
Leadership is a Behavior, Not a Title
In the traditional sense, leadership is often tied to titles and positions of power, but true leadership is a behavior. Whether you're in middle management, a dispatcher, or even navigating tricky relationships with family, the influence you wield is not limited to...
Navigating Unintentional Missteps with Generous Assumptions
In a recent conversation with a team I coach, we delved into the nuances of unintentional behavior, a topic I talked about a few weeks ago. But during this latest conversation, I was struck by a critical aspect we often overlook — the flip side of the coin. One one...
A Leader’s True Power: Building Inclusive Teams Through Awareness
Leadership often feels like walking a tightrope. We strive to balance our intentions with the impact our actions have on those around us. Yet, there’s a layer to leadership that can be easily overlooked — unintentional behavior. In my last post, I warned about the...
The Invisible Impact of Unintentional Behavior
Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on unintentional behavior and how it shows up in our lives. You know, those moments when you say or do something, thinking you’re being completely harmless, only to realize later that it was received in a way you never intended. A...
Seeing the Water: The Power of Stepping Back
In his famous commencement speech, This Is Water, David Foster Wallace tells the story of two young fish swimming along when they encounter an older fish who says, "Morning, boys. How’s the water?" The young fish swim on for a bit before one turns to the other and...
Navigating Power Dynamics: Having Tough Talks with Authority
In the world of leadership, dealing with power dynamics and tough conversations is an art. Recently, I faced a situation where a newly-promoted finance director, known for his bold style and authority over three statewide offices, found himself inadvertently slowing...
Transforming Organizational Dynamics: The Art of Asking Better Questions
In the fast-paced world of emergency response, or even accounting for that matter, every decision counts. Recently, I had the privilege of diving into the intricate dynamics of a 911 agency, where tensions simmered between dispatchers and supervisors — a scenario ripe...
Leadership Beyond the Captain: Navigating the Ship of Change
Imagine standing in front of a room full of FBI agents, tasked with training them on leadership. That’s where I recently found myself, at a regional training day for the FBI. I was invited because of the work I’ve been doing with law enforcement. It's a privilege...